Suspiciously Unrelated

"This city is afraid of me. I have
seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters
are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin
will down. The accumulated filth and all their sex and murder will foam
up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up
and shout "Save Us!"...They had a choice, all of them. They could have
followed in the footsteps of good men like my father, or President
Truman. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists
and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too
late. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody
hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers...and all
of sudden nobody can think of anything to say." -Rorschach

My superhero name would be Aqualad. My costume would be a giant
fish suit. I would travel the globe with my powers of flight and my
ability to use people as waterskis. Upon reaching my
destination I would then find corrupt leaders and evildoers and soak
them with my water-rays. Nobody enjoys being wet. Undoubtably these
evildoers will feel shamed and ridiculous, they are wet, nobody else is
wet; how ridiculous! This shame will then drive them back from whence
they came and right their wrongs. Thusly my powers of aquatic mischief
shall bring about world peace and prosperity. If anyone threatened my
new world of peace I will drench them constantly. Imagine the paranoia.
Every time an archvillian changes into a nice suit or tux, DRENCHED. At
a formal dinner? DRENCHED. Giving speeches to anarchical mob? DRENCHED.
This fear of having set after set of clothes completely ruined and
shame brought upon them at my whimsy shall ensure completely docility.
AQUALAD, DUNDUNDUNDAAAA

-Dr.Reeves
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